i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize