Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my vag is so smooth its legendary
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
