ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
