are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
