I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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