I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
