I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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