Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have aggressive nipples.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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