this just has baby written all over it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
