I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
