Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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