quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
