Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
