This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
