you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize