You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
