More tranny stories later!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
