he thought i was a dude.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize