So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
