um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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