NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
