btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Drake has all the answers
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
