So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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