actually, I'm a sock model
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
