he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
