Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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