I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
