Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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