OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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