She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize