I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
