Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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