Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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