you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
