I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
