Sponge bath it is.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
