her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
