i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
