I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
