I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
