how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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