kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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