Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
