I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize