I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
