he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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