Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
