I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
