If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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