She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
