Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
