Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
