So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
