Kiss
Puke
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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