i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize