would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
