y did u give ur computer a hand job?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
