so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
