I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
