If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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