After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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