Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
